COUNSELING IN CEDAR KNOLLS, MONTCLAIR & VIRTUALLY ACROSS NEW JERSEY
You don’t need to be fixed — you need to be understood.
Approachable and compassionate therapy for those who think, care, and feel deeply
You’re probably someone who holds a lot.
I hate this for you! It doesn’t have to be like this
You think deeply, feel deeply, and care deeply — sometimes more than you let on. You’re often the one others lean on, the one who notices what’s unspoken, the one who tries to keep things running smoothly. On the outside, you may look capable, composed, even successful. On the inside, things can feel much more complicated.
You might find yourself overthinking conversations long after they end, wondering if you said too much — or not enough. You may struggle to ask for what you need without guilt, or feel responsible for other people’s emotions while ignoring your own. Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, even frightening, especially with people you love.
You may notice patterns in your relationships that don’t seem to change, no matter how much insight you have. Maybe you keep ending up in the role of the caretaker, the fixer, or the one who adapts. Maybe you want closeness but don’t quite trust it. Or maybe you feel lonely even when you’re not alone.
None of this means something is wrong with you!
It means you learned ways to survive, connect, and stay safe — often early in life — and those strategies are still showing up, even if they’re no longer serving you.
Life can look different
Hey! I’m glad you found me - I’m Melissa.
I know what it feels like to be a people pleaser, the one who handles everything, thinking too much, feeling too many feelings and thinking I’m responsible for everyone and everything. It’s exhausting! Also, there is another way…and I want you to know -
It’s okay to slow down
You don’t have to be everything to everyone
and
Yes - you can live a life free of guilt, second guessing, worry and over-functioning and NO it’s not selfish to want to not live in constant fight or flight with tense shoulders all the time (wait - is that just me?)
I’m here to listen — not judge, not fix, not tell you what you “should” do. You can read a self-help book or read a blog post about this. As a therapist, I’m trained to go deep into your patterns, attachment, emotions, awareness and help you become more aware of how they might be showing up in ways that aren’t obvious to you. I notice both what you say and how you feel, so you can start understanding your patterns and reactions in a deeper way.
I built my practice for people who learned early in life how to survive by being helpful, adaptable, strong, or self-sufficient. The ones who kept the peace at the expense of themselves, to bottle up, ignore, or deny their emotions, and smooth out all the bumps around them - to tune out their inner world and tune into everyone and everything around them.
I like to think I keep it pretty real - clients say that I am down to earth, easy to talk to and authentic. I also get what it’s like to feel overburdened by responsibility, empathy, self-awareness, and caring for everyone else.
My job is to help you figure out and work through some of the patterns that leave you stuck, put words to your complex experiences, and figure out what’s next for you (and also how to cherish yourself) I want you to navigate relationships with more ease, not feel guilty all the time, and slow down and enjoy the person that you were meant to be.
Ready to do something different?
Let’s make it easy:
01
Reach out - email, text or contact form
We’ll get to know each other better with a quick hello and a chat about what brought you here and what you’re looking for. I’ll answer any questions you have and we can see if we’re a good fit.
We’ll talk logistics and set up our first session
02
We’ll talk cost, see if you have out of network benefits, and determine whether we are going to meet via telehealth or in person in my office in Cedar Knolls
We’ll start with whatever brought you to see me and go from there - I’ll listen, ask a lot of questions, challenge you and support you. You can cry, vent, yell, laugh - whatever you need.
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